turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize