He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize