she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
