the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
