Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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