Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
