I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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