I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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