Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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