I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
