She's JV to your varsity
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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