yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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