Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
