Where are you?
In a non slutty way
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
