Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The uberlube is also flammable
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
