Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
