Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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