i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
