ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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