She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
