seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
