woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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