You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
