Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
