I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
