at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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