Sry I called you an 8
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We need a shit load of segways right now
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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