chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
