do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Where is the hickey?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
