Say something about gay babies.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm both gender and math confused
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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