Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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