Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
