During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
