Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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