So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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