I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
