He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
