what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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