Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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