...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
