paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
