What a fucking waste of an outfit
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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