booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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