Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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