Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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