OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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