so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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