U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
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