with your own penis?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize