ugly people sure do ruin things
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
