Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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