It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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