How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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