i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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