No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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