i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
