I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
