her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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