pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
