i permit you to call me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
