I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
