Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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