im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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