and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
