Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
