woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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