elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
