The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize