I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm like, not good at living.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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